I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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