We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
