Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
