the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
