It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
