No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
