I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
