So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize