You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
