try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
