apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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