he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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