somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
