you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm going to jail i love you
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
