I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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