I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
