You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
