The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
