Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
