I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
