Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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