the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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