I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
