Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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