i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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