I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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