He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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