you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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