Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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