She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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