I'm drive I can fine osifer
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize