I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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