A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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