I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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