College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
