he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
