Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
