i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
