Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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