she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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