I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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