We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
