Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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