fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize