I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
