Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize