I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
