I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
