Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
