We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize