yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
