the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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