Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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