Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
