we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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