Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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