P.S. I can't hear my feet
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
And then he peed in my hair
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