We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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