That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
