Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
