so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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