Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The Olympian is in my bed
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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