Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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