at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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