R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
