my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize