Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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