last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
