He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard