I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter