I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
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You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.