I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home